JOHN PORK — WAR MODE

Description

🧠 Product Title:

🐷 JOHN PORK — WAR MODE 💥📞🐖

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🔥 LORE FRAGMENT:

You declined the call.
Now he’s answering for you.

After the failed ceasefire at the Dairy-Rust Border, John Pork had one option left: open the Armory of Silence.

What emerged is not the meme you remember.
This is WAR MODE — a hardened relic of vengeance sculpted from muscle, rage, and 56 unanswered voicemails.

He no longer rings.
He raids.

Armed with:

• Dual-wielded Cold Cut Kalashnikovs

• A homemade rocket made from rotary hams and pipe dreams

• Tactical flannel stitched with Kevlar bacon-thread

• 1,000-yard stare permanently tuned to Tim Cheese’s last known signal

War Mode Pork speaks few words, but when he does, they echo through cracked screens and shattered satellites.

“If you’re not picking up…
…you’re the reason I loaded up.”

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🎨 Design Breakdown:
• Loadout: 4x mounted rifles, double ammo sashes, RPG with lunchbox mods
• Texture: Dried blood, scorched farmland, ash from Milan’s final broadcast
• Font: Burnt serif legacy, golden-cooked edges
• Theme: Fallout Appalachia meets Cyber-Puglia resistance militia

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👕 Real Product Specs:
• Fabric: 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton
• Weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)
• Fit: Unisex
• Tear-away label
• Sizes: XS to 5XL
• Color Options: Smoked Bacon, Flannel Blood, Apocalypse Grey

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🧼 Care Instructions:
• Machine wash cold, inside-out
• Tumble dry low or dry on the hood of a burning van
• No bleach — that’s a Cheese tactic
• Iron inside-out with a suppressed sigh of duty

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🧪 Rarity Specs:
• Type: PorcopocalypseUnit™
• Drop Format: Tee / Tactical Patch / War Recruitment Poster
• Rarity: ☠️ LEGENDARY
• Special Print: Inner hem reads “Call Rejected. War Accepted.”

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💬 Last Signal Broadcast:

“You think you hung up on me?

I’ve been tracing the silence.”

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📦 Find him before he finds you:
👉🏼 runwaypepe.com/shop 👈🏼

EU representative: Ernest Dobrowolski, [email protected], Kordeckiego 75/19, Warszawa, Mazowieckie, 04-355, PL

Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC

Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras

Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean