Description
🧠 Product Title:
JOHN PORK — BRAINROT 🐽🧠💥
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🌪️ Lore Unleashed:
He’s not just calling anymore—he’s yelling from inside your skull.
This is John Pork: Extrovert Variant, also known as “Porcellino Delirio Rosso.”
No longer a polite ringtone… he’s glitching through your For You Page, screaming “YO!!” while eating your last remaining neuron.
Slobbering. Unhinged. Always online.
Rumors say he consumed every algorithm in 2023 and now lives inside meme RAM, overdosing on attention and vinegar-based barbecue sauce.
His hobbies include:
• Screaming in JPG
• T-posing mid-scroll
• Sending 300 calls per second through 4G LTE just to hear you panic
• Chewing through TikTok’s backend source code
He is the FINAL FORM.
He wants to be perceived.
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🎨 Design Breakdown:
• Font: Yellow grindhouse comic pulp — dripping, screaming, leaking
• Art Style: Garbage Pail Kids meets 90s horror cereal ad
• Background: Digital rot + turbo booger shadows
• Shirt Detail: Flannel flared with fear and meme blood
• Hidden Detail: His left tooth spells “HI” if you squint
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🧪 Real Specs:
• Type: Neuro-Meme Cryptid / Extrovert Class
• Drop Format: Tee / Wall Poster / Tattoo Flash Sheet
• Rarity: 🧠 MAXIMUM BRAINROT 🧠
• Special Variant: “Pork.exe – OUTBREAK.zip” (includes 4 sound alerts + a shriek)
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💬 Official Quote:
“DO YOU HEAR ME??? I’M IN YOUR THOUGHTS RN!!!”
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👕 Real Product Specs:
• Fabric: 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton
• Weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)
• Fit: Unisex
• Tear-away label
• Sizes: XS to 5XL
• Color Options: Blood Red, Blister Blue, Grave Ash, Classic White
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🧼 Care Instructions:
• Machine wash cold, inside-out (he sweats)
• Tumble dry low, or dry on your forehead
• No bleach, unless you need to purge the voices
• Iron inside-out while screaming into the void
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🌐 runwaypepe.com/shop
Your brain belongs to Pork now.
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, cm | 41.90 | 45.72 | 50.80 | 55.88 | 60.96 | 66.04 | 71.12 | 76.20 | 81.28 |
| Length, cm | 68.58 | 71.12 | 73.66 | 76.20 | 78.74 | 81.28 | 83.82 | 86.36 | 88.90 |
| Sleeve length, cm | 21.84 | 22.61 | 23.37 | 24.13 | 24.64 | 25.40 | 26.42 | 27.43 | 28.45 |
| Size tolerance, cm | 3.81 | 3.81 | 3.81 | 3.81 | 3.81 | 3.81 | 3.81 | 3.81 | 3.81 |
EU representative: Ernest Dobrowolski, [email protected], Kordeckiego 75/19, Warszawa, Mazowieckie, 04-355, PL
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean
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