{"id":17440,"date":"2025-05-02T23:01:33","date_gmt":"2025-05-02T23:01:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/runwaypepe.com\/shop\/product\/john-pork-calling\/"},"modified":"2025-05-02T23:08:42","modified_gmt":"2025-05-02T23:08:42","slug":"john-pork-calling","status":"publish","type":"product","link":"https:\/\/runwaypepe.com\/shop\/product\/john-pork-calling\/","title":{"rendered":"JOHN PORK \u2014 Calling\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

\ud83e\udde0<\/strong> Product Title:<\/p>\n

JOHN PORK — Calling… But This Time It’s Personal \ud83d\udcde\ud83d\udc37\ud83d\udd76\ufe0f<\/strong>
\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500
\ud83d\udc3d Lore Leak:<\/strong>
You shouldn’t have searched for him. You shouldn’t have clicked the videos.
But you did. And now John Pork is Calling<\/strong>.
Originally thought to be a harmless internet meme with a friendly pig face and a Nokia ringtone, John Pork is actually a hyper-trained international assassin<\/strong>—a legend in the underground known only as “The Butcher of Baku.”
He tracks down anyone who tries to expose the truth<\/em>. If you’re reading this, he’s already traced your IP.<\/p>\n

Always calm. Always smiling. Always calling.<\/p>\n

\ud83d\udd75\ufe0f‍\u2642\ufe0f Assassin Profile:<\/strong>
• Style: Business-casual red flannel \/ mountain blend
• Specialties: Disappearing into fog, pig-headed persistence, silent oinks
• Known Associates: Tim Cheese, Capuccino Assassino, Bombardino Crocodilo
• Last seen: Near a cliff. Holding a rotary phone. Staring.<\/p>\n

\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500
\ud83c\udfa8 Design Breakdown:<\/strong>
• Font: 70s Americana horror-sitcom energy (like if Stephen King wrote for Nickelodeon)
• Color Palette: Sunrise murder-sunset with VHS decay tones
• Texture: Realistic pork-skin detailing with HD flannel depth
• Easter Egg: That’s not a normal phone… it’s a transmitter.<\/p>\n

\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500
\ud83e\uddea Real Specs:<\/strong>
• Type: Urban Folklore \/ Meme Assassin
• Drop Format: Tee \/ Print \/ Ritual Summon Sticker
• Rarity: \u2620\ufe0f CURSED LEGEND \u2620\ufe0f
• Special Variant: “JOHN PORK – VOICEMAIL LEFT” (with bloodied handset and GPS ping)<\/p>\n

\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500
\ud83d\udcac Official Quote:<\/strong>
“You looked for me. Now I’m looking for you.”<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500
\ud83d\udc55 Real Product Specs:<\/strong>
• Fabric: 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton
• Weight: 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)
• Fit: Unisex
• Tear-away label
• Sizes: XS to 5XL
• Color Options: Heather Clay, White, Asphalt<\/p>\n

\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500
\ud83e\uddfc Care Instructions:<\/strong>
• Machine wash cold, inside-out
• Tumble dry low or hang dry while watching your back
• Do NOT answer unknown numbers
• Iron inside-out and pray it doesn’t ring mid-cycle<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500
\ud83d\udd17 runwaypepe.com\/shop<\/strong>
For those who dare wear the call.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
 <\/th>\nXS<\/th>\nS<\/th>\nM<\/th>\nL<\/th>\nXL<\/th>\n2XL<\/th>\n3XL<\/th>\n4XL<\/th>\n5XL<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n
Width, in<\/td>\n16.50<\/td>\n18.00<\/td>\n20.00<\/td>\n22.00<\/td>\n24.00<\/td>\n26.00<\/td>\n28.00<\/td>\n30.00<\/td>\n32.00<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Length, in<\/td>\n27.00<\/td>\n28.00<\/td>\n29.00<\/td>\n30.00<\/td>\n31.00<\/td>\n32.00<\/td>\n33.00<\/td>\n34.00<\/td>\n35.00<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Sleeve length, in<\/td>\n8.60<\/td>\n8.90<\/td>\n9.20<\/td>\n9.50<\/td>\n9.70<\/td>\n10.00<\/td>\n10.40<\/td>\n10.80<\/td>\n11.20<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Size tolerance, in<\/td>\n1.50<\/td>\n1.50<\/td>\n1.50<\/td>\n1.50<\/td>\n1.50<\/td>\n1.50<\/td>\n1.50<\/td>\n1.50<\/td>\n1.50<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

 <\/p>\n

EU representative<\/strong>: Ernest Dobrowolski, snketr@gmail.com, Kordeckiego 75\/19, Warszawa, Mazowieckie, 04-355, PL<\/p>\n

Product information<\/strong>: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC<\/p>\n

Warnings, Hazard<\/strong>: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras<\/p>\n

Care instructions<\/strong>: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\ud83e\udde0 Product Title: JOHN PORK — Calling… But This Time It’s Personal \ud83d\udcde\ud83d\udc37\ud83d\udd76\ufe0f\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\ud83d\udc3d Lore Leak:You shouldn’t have searched for him. You shouldn’t have clicked the videos.But you did. And now John Pork is Calling.Originally thought to be a harmless internet meme with a friendly pig face and a Nokia ringtone, John Pork is actually a hyper-trained […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":17541,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ai_generated_summary":""},"product_brand":[],"product_cat":[21],"product_tag":[],"class_list":["post-17440","product","type-product","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","product_cat-brainrot-inc-all-products","first","instock","shipping-taxable","purchasable","product-type-variable","has-default-attributes"],"yoast_head":"\nJOHN PORK \u2014 Calling\u2026 -<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/runwaypepe.com\/shop\/product\/john-pork-calling\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"JOHN PORK \u2014 Calling\u2026 -\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\ud83e\udde0 Product Title: JOHN PORK — Calling… But This Time It’s Personal \ud83d\udcde\ud83d\udc37\ud83d\udd76\ufe0f\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\u2500\ud83d\udc3d Lore Leak:You shouldn’t have searched for him. 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