Description
๐๐ฎ Product Title:
LA VACA SATURNO SATURNITA – Baked Edition
โ๏ธ Cosmic Grazewear from Brainrot Inc.
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๐ง Lore Fragment:
In a realm beyond reality, where planets moo softly and mushrooms whisper ancient jokes, she roams.
SATURNITA, the planetary cow of Saturn and earth, holds the world in her hoof and all timelines in her gaze.
She’s not here to warn or to teach.
She’s just… vibing.
And possibly… baked out of her interdimensional mind.
Legend has it, if you wear this tee during a sunset snack, you may hear her softly whisper:
“Moooooooniverse.”
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๐ Design Essence:
• Bovine head + Earth body = planetary icon energy
• Cosmic cap tilted just right = galactic drip
• Holding a mini-Earth like a stress ball = mood
• Background: surreal mushscape with jellyfish skies
• Typography = faded 1970s sci-fi VHS vibes
• The feet? Don’t ask. They feel.
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๐ Wearability Stats:
• Fabric: 100% Airlume combed & ring-spun cotton
• Weight: 4.2 oz/yd² – floaty and breathable for celestial grazing
• Fit: Unisex retail cut – Earthling tested, Saturnite approved
• Print Style: High-res DTG print, vivid AF
• Tag: Tear-away label – because tags are a prison
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๐ Product Highlights:
• BRAINROT INC. woven label inside collar
• Side sleeve stamp: “Property of Saturnita”
• Pairs well with flip-flops, mushroom tea, and planetary confusion
• Made for couch dimensions and mushroom forests alike
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๐งผ Care Instructions:
• Machine wash cold (30°C / 90°F)
• Tumble dry low, like Saturn’s orbit
• Do not bleach (it erases star memories)
• Iron inside-out for planetary balance
• Avoid dry cleaning — she prefers it au naturel
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๐ฆ Additional Info:
• Sizes: XS–5XL (cosmic inclusivity)
• Colors: Stoner Sky Purple, Saturnite Cream, Shroom Dust Gray
• Shipping: Fulfilled via Printify’s cosmic-tier partners
• HQ: runwaypepe.com/shop
• Drop Rarity: “BAKED / ASTRAL / ONE PER PLANET”
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๐ Side Effects May Include:
• Increased mushroom appreciation
• Floating thoughts
• A tendency to moo at inanimate objects
• Belief that cows invented astrology (they did)
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๐ญ “Saturnita te observa… desde otra frecuencia.”
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.50 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 8.60 | 8.90 | 9.20 | 9.50 | 9.70 | 10.00 | 10.40 | 10.80 | 11.20 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
EU representative: Ernest Dobrowolski, [email protected], Kordeckiego 75/19, Warszawa, Mazowieckie, 04-355, PL
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean
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